Return To My Nightmare (part 2)

Sorry for the abrupt ending to my previous post. I get a bit tired, so it takes a bit of time to complete a blog. I was happy to take a few days, but Catherine was keen to get some information out for our expectant public, so she took an executive decision to publish and be damned, even though it was incomplete.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, following several months of constant improvement, I was told, unequivocally, no argument about it, that I have lung cancer, with possibly a little bit lapping about in the liver and the spleen. So the minor operation to release the stiff muscle constraining the movement in my neck and shoulders was cancelled, but I was taken in as an in-patient nevertheless, primarily to drain the fluid from my pleura, but also to undertake various tests, to ascertain precisely what is ailing me.

The pleural drain released about 600ml of gunky-looking liquid in about 10 minutes, after which it slowed down to a trickle: eventually just over a litre was taken out of me over a couple of days. I had hoped that this would make me feel a bit more comfortable, but no such luck, I'm afraid. Inevitably, the only real release came with the god of morphine, which brought with it its own down-sides: fatigue, and the most extreme episode of constipation which I have ever suffered - more of which later.

I was in hospital for about a week, and have subsequently made a number of further visits, for a bronchoscopy, lung function test, and various other checks. The weird thing is that the more examinations I go through, the less clear is the diagnosis. Apparently, the bronchoscopy samples did not show any cancer cells although the CT scan on the lung did show up something which shouldn't be there; the pleural fluid was negative for cancer;and the lung function test was satisfactory, although it didn't feel it. This leaves us in a position where it seems clear that I'm pretty poorly, with a strong suspicion that Mr Cancer has paid a return visit, but where and how is anything but clear.

This is important, partly because nobody in the great medical fraternity at Barts & The London is able to take ownership for my treatment, until they know exactly what's wrong: we originally thought I was going to be handed over to the chest and lung specialists, but as it has still not been confirmed that the disease is in my lung, this isn't appropriate yet. Also, the treatment for a new cancer would be very different from that for a secondary cancer from the original illness.

In the meantime, I seem to be the subject of much discussion and scratching of heads, but treatment can't start until we have more clarity about what's wrong with me. I feel lousy, with absolutely no energy at all. I am of course off work again. The medical certificate from my GP puts it down to "metastatic cancer", which I believe indicates the spread of a primary cancer to another part or parts of the body. Watch this space for prognosis / diagnosis in the very near future, I hope.

Inevitably, a cocktail of drugs keeps pain under a semblance of control, but the medication - and particularly morphine - has side-effects. Yes, I sleep an awful lot, but I have also discovered the true horror of constipation. I'll spare you the graphic details, but it has been extremely unpleasant, and I am immensely grateful for the intervention of the District Nurse, Dan, who brought me sweet relief.

So, here are ten songs about constipation.

1. Constipation Blues - Screamin' Jay Hawkins
2. Trapped - Bruce Springsteen
3. I Can't Get Started - Bunny Berrigan
4. We Can Work It Out - The Beatles
5. Keep On Pushin' - The Impressions
6. Agony - Eels
7. Ain't It Hard - Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings
8. All Cleaned Out - Elliott Smith
9. Cloud of Stink - Biffy Clyro
10. Explosion - Eli Paperboy Reed & The Trueloves.

RP

PS - Rick is having another bronchoscopy on Tuesday, they'll go a bit further down to see if they can find anything conclusive; followed by a bone scan on Wednesday. Hopefully at the Lung team meeting on Friday they will have got results and formed a plan - keep your fingers crossed.
Catherine