Hello Friends - it's me again, following an extended stay away from your computer screens. Once again, I've received various emails questioning my absence and encouraging me to post a progress report.

There are a couple of reasons why I haven't reported anything for several weeks: the first is that in my zombie-like state, I simply haven't had the energy; and the second is that I've had so little to report. A daily update along the lines of "feeling lousy; even worse than yesterday" is enough to have you all running for the hills, and seeking a less depressing web site.

Well, as evidenced by the very fact that I'm sitting here composing a blog, I think I must be gradually getting better. Forgive me if I seem a little uncertain, but there are bad days and, well, worse days.

The last 2-3 weeks of treatment were the worst I can ever remember feeling, and there was no improvement in the first week post-treatment. Then about a week ago, I started feeling a little bit brighter, so we assumed that it would be a simple matter of steady progress, but no such luck, I'm afraid. If I have got any better over the last seven days, the recovery has been so limited as to be unnoticeable. They say that it can be three weeks after the end of treatment before you start feeling better, so surely things must start looking up soon.

It's very difficult to describe the symptoms of the treatment: maybe just a general malaise, but the worst you've ever experienced. It's one of those feelings that you can only understand if you've lived through it. My good friend Alex, who has experienced it, describes it as "the horrors", which is just about spot on.

As ever, Catherine has been fantastic: patient and caring, I don't know what I would do without her. She's been gently bullying me to do my swallowing exercises, and has resisted the temptation to shout at me when I've childishly refused. She keeps a resolutely cheerful view on things, which is just as well, as more thsn one person in the house with my black mood would make things even more unbearable.

Sorry to be downbeat again. I hope to be back soon, with a more positive message.

Keep smiling.

Rx