Spitting In The Wind

Hello Friends

The radiotherapy continues, and the treatment itself is still not too unpleasant, although I'm certainly starting to enjoy the side-effects.

To be positive, I've now done 10 sessions, which is a smidgen over 30%. Obviously, I'd be happier to be sitting here saying it's 30% to go, but with a fair wind, and all pulling together, we just might get through this.

So, those side effects. Most noticeable, and most annoying and embarrassing, is the saliva. Basically, everyone has two sets of saliva glands: one is responsible for "thin" saliva, and the other pumps out the thick gloopy stuff. Under normal circumstances, both sets of gob combine in the mouth, for a liquid of ideal consistency,which we swallow and expel without really noticing for most of the time.

When being treated with radiotherapy, the gland which makes the thin saliva goes on holiday, so you're stuck with footballers' spit, and lots of it. Swallowing this stuff is like drinking sick, and so produces the inevitable gagging response. I think I've managed to get a total of about 6 hours sleep in the last two nights, as I keep waking up retching on the muck in my mouth. I'm told that by the end of the course of treatment, it will have taken on the consistency of chewing gum, which obviously I'm looking forward to.

Not a lot to do except grin and bear it, I'm afraid. I'm instructed to keep my mouth as clean as possible, using the nebuliser and mouth-suction frequently, and possibly sucking ice chips from time to time, to lightn the consistency, but basically I've got to put up with it. Could be worse.

Of other symptoms, I have checked with Dr Sibtain: deafness in my right ear? "That'll be the radiotherapy"; breathlessness and fatigue? "That'll be the radiotherapy"; numbness across the whole of the right side of my face? "That'll be the radiotherapy"; a powerful erection, which drains the blood from the rest of my body and lasts for six hours? "That'll be the radiotherapy".

Actually that last one was a lie, just checking you're still awake.

I haven't yet suffered the burning of the skin, or the sore throat, but they'll be along soon, no doubt. I'm also dreading my next session of chemo, which is next Wednesday, considering how sick I was last time.

I've finally been seen by a physio, who agreed that I am indeed "as stiff as a very stiff thing" (stop sniggering at the back), and I need a programme of physiotherapy. This was just an assessment meeting, but she did me the honour of prodding and poking me in painful places, just to confirm that I'm not malingering. Next appointment is next Tuesday, when the series of torture will begin in earnest.

Changing the subject completely, let me tell you about the little indulgence that Catherine and I have allowed oursleves. As we've had such a crap summer, we've decided to treat ourselves to a Brennan, which is a CD-player with a hard disc that stores up to 5,000 CDs. We've justified it on the basis that it's a joint birthday present. Catherine's birthday is next week, but mine is in January! It's due to be delivered in the last week of September, and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Check it out at www.brennan.co.uk.

So, back to the topic of physiotherapy:

1. Exercise - Clem Snide
2. Lean On Me - Bill Withers
3. Touch Me In The Morning - Diana Ross
4. Angel Fingers - Wizzard
5. Release The Pressure - Leftfield
6. Closer to The Bone - Kris Kristofferson
7. Tighten Up - Archie Bell & The Drells
8. Loosen Up - E.T. White
9. See Me, Feel Me - The Who
10. Hands Off My Baby - Mary Wells

Stay loose!

RP