Another day in paradise

Wednesday 14th July 4.30pm

Before I came into hospital, I didn't update the blog everyday, but I've just been instructed by She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed that I have to give my expectant public an update, mainly so she can read the newspaper rather than indulge in the one-way conversations which visiting time inevitably entails.

So what to tell? Well, as far as I'm concerned, things are definitely on the mend. Look ma - no tubes! Also, most of the stitches and staples have gone, and I'm feeling pretty chipper. I've embarked on the essential physiotherapy which will restore my physique to its former glory. Ralph/Rafa/Linda the flap seems to be behaving himself/herself, so everything is cool just now.

By the way, I had no idea you blogettes were such a mercenary bunch. The majority of you seem to be refusing to participate in the "name-the-flap" competition until you know the prize. Well, I haven't decided yet: suffice to say, it will not be wealth beyond compare. Maybe the tooth they knocked out in my last operation? In any case, I'll announce the winner in due course.

Catherine and I received a nice visit earlier, from a chap called Ben, who went through a similar ordeal to me a couple of years ago, and has come out of it smiling and even "enriched" by the experience. Ben is evidence that in spite of the sheer bloody misery of the treatment, it can be all right in the end. Unfortunately, he's better looking after his operation than I was before mine, so I fear that comparisons on our respective appearances may be misleading.

Nevertheless, it was really good of him to drop in, and to talk to someone who really knows what I've been going through, and what's still to come. Apparently, radiotherapy is going to be horrible, but at least forewarned is forearmed.

My main concern just now after such an extended stay is that I may become institutionalised, so here are ten songs on that subject:-

1 St James' Infirmary - Jack Teagarden
2 Fulsom prison blues - Johny Cash
3 If these old walls could speak - Nanci Griffith
4 I don't want to go home - Southside Johny and the Ashbury Jukes
5 My old school - Steely Dan
6 These four walls - Shawn Colvin
7 The walls of red wing - Bob Dylan
8 Christmas in prison - John Prine
9 I shall be released - Bob Dylan
10 Relaxin' at the Touro - Muggsy Spanier (suggested by my dad)

I'm not staying
RP