Weighty matters

Monday 26th July

Hey, good news: I'm putting on weight. I had my weekly weigh-in yesterday, and I'm up to a massive 74.90 kg, having been a paltry 74.80kg last week. Those of you who are good at sums will have computed by now that in real money, I'm currently about 11st 11lb; about the same as I used to be 25 years ago. Before all this saga started, I was touching 13st, so in spite of the recent recovery, I've lost well over a stone.
Catherine has also lost nearly a stone, as a result of all the chasing around she's had to do. As many of you have commented favourably on our prose writing styles, we've decided to write a book. It will be called "Lose Weight with the Cancer Programme".
There was a new nurse on the ward yesterday: a late-middle aged lady from the agency. She was very gentle and motherly, and I rather liked her, up until the point when she commented to Catherine, "He must have been very handsome when he was a young man". Cheek!
Actually, yesterday was quite a lively day. As you can imagine, weekends are a time when friends and family come out in numbers to visit their sick loved ones.
Amid the hullabaloo, it became apparent that one of the visitors was loudly voicing to the nurses her discontent about the way her husband was being treated. As is so often the case in these situations, the rest of the room went silent, so the only noise we could hear was from this poor lady. She was subtly ushered away to talk about it, and all seemed to resolved amicably. But it set me to thinking; in a ward of 12-15 people, every visitor is only concerned about the wellbeing of one individual, but the staff have to spread themselves quite thinly among them all. Catherine's approach is one of assertive co-operation. She constantly asks why certain things are being done, and pesters the nurses to attend to my various ailments, in an attempt to put me first amound equals in terms of care. She also bribes them with home-made biscuits, which seems to be an effective tactic.
A quick word about religion. In my very first blog, I laid down two basic rules: keep it clean, and no religion. The reasons I made the stipulation in the first place is because I didn't want the blog to degenerate into a forum for evangelical preaching. I am certainly not dismissive of people's beliefs, and for those of you who have said that you pray for me, well thank you for your thoughts - I'm very grateful. I personally am not a believer, although I know people who follow a range of religions, and I completely respect their views. However, this does NOT signify an invitation to start posting "Jesus Saves" messages.
I suppose you're mildly interested in the current situation with regard to my health. Well, it's a bit of a mixed bag. I am now talking a bit, and some of the noises I make are discernible as words. The tracheostomy should be removed in the next couple of days, and plans are being made to commence the radiotherapy. So, all good.
But, I have a big hole in my neck, which goes all the way through to my mouth, and is taking an age to heal. This largely acts as an outlet for saliva, and so dressings are soaking within minutes of being applied. Because of the delicacy of the surrounding tissue, this hole cannot be sewn up, and could take several weeks to heal. Also, one of the very neat stitches in my chest - left over from where they took the skin to stick inside my mouth - has developed into a small fistula (hole to you and me), with some evidence of an infection. I'm assured it's not too serious,
so the overall picture remains rosy.
I started this blog by observing our recent weight loss, so here are ten songs about weight:-
1 Fat - Violent Femmes
2 Can't fool the fat man - Randy Newman
3 Fat man in the bathtub - Little Feat
4 You're the one for me, Fatty - Morrisey
5 The weight - The Band
6 He ain't heavy, he's my brother - The Hollies
7 Lip up fatty - Bad Manners
8 Mr Big Stuff - Jean Knight
9 Fatty fatty - Clancy Eccles
10 How you've grown - 10,000 Maniacs

Keep on slimming!
RP