Monday 12 July, 11am
Never again will I moan about having to go to work on a Monday morning. As I enter week 4 of my scheduled 2-week break, there's still no imminent prospect of departure.
On the positive side, the flap in my mouth is healthy; I am now free of drains and drips; and the doctors say I'm making "steady progress".
On the other hand, the flap resolutely refuses to affix itself securely to my palate, which can only be cured with time; at least another week in hospital apparently. Also, I keep getting unexpected retching fits, such as last night, when I spent the evening honking and crying, my dear wife holding my hand and offering encouragement, when I should have been watching the World Cup Final.
This place is such a bubble that all I've been able to confirm is that Spain won the World Cup; but not the score, or whether Everton's Johny Heitinga put in a distinguished performance.
Here are some things to look forward to over the next few days:
- I'm going to have my tracheostomy removed. That is to say, providing I can breathe when they close the damn thing off, it'll be removed. This is something I'm anticipating with a great deal of pleasure and fear. Pleasure, because I'll finally be able to start eating, drinking and speaking again; fear, because all previous attempts to do so have resulted in failure due to my inability to breathe. The estimable Dr Dilkes says "we never have any problems" but Phil the Nurse tells me it could take 3-4 days to wean me off the tracheostomy.
- I'm going to undergo - again - the "swallow test", which involves me drinking a cup of blue dye, in front of a group of observers, looking for leaks in my neck
- Games of musical beds. A number of patients were moved from the ward yesterday, due - according to staff - to financial cutbacks. This morning, half the ward has been converted to a building site, as a bunch of workmen are putting in new windows. It seems they'll move to my end of the ward tomorrow, so at least I should get a change of scenery.
Before I go, I have another piece of homework for you dedicated blog followers. As it now seems that flap no.2 is here to stay (fingers crossed), I think we should give it a name. This, remember, is a piece of my puny chest which has been relocated to the back of my mouth where it feels rather more substantial. The best suggestion will get a prize yet to be decided.
Today's ten songs are about time passing slowly:-
1 Wastin' time - Ron Sexsmith
2 Waiting at the station - Neville Brothers (suggestd by Phil the Nurse)
3 Waitin' in vain - Bob Marley and The Wailers
4 We have all the time in the world - Louis Armstrong
5 Longest time - Bill Joel
6 Desperadoes waiting for a train - Guy Clark
7 The rest of my life - Dan Penn
8 All day and all of the night - The Kinks
9 Waitin' for my man - Velvet Underground
10 100 days, 100 nights - Ruth Jones and the Dap Kings
Hangin' Around
RP
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Hi Sport,
ReplyDeleteRalph would seem an appropriate name seeing as the new flap is causing you unexpected bouts of vomiting...
I'm sure on ER, Dr Green and co simply yank out breathing tubes and make their patients get on with it...so quite why you are making so much fuss...No chance of getting a web cam installed is there, as after all the graphic explanations I'm starting to feel like part of the surgical team.
It's good to be reading your thoughts once again and good luck with whatever Barts intend to throw at you this week. It won't be long before you're home.
Luv to all. Albert & Lou
That's good Al. I'm struggling with names. Mine all sound a bit like sex aids!I've been trying to go along the hirsute lines.
ReplyDeleteHugs.
Annx
Ann - a girl after my own heart. I've sent my suggestion to Rick's email for him to ponder and throw out for being obscene! Think we all need more info from Rick as to the prize on offer. Huge amounts of dosh, a day trip round Barts surgical supplies dept - the chance to sort out the internal workings of the NHS - a tutorial on how blogs work - the mind boggles. I'm just worried that the workmen are going to throw him out of the window if he doesn't hurry up and go home.
ReplyDeleteHi Rick
ReplyDeleteMy suggestion would be Rafa - it is, after all, an unsightly lump of flesh that has underachieved, despite all the resources at hand, and has moved to a new position as second choice where it is hanging around causing disappointment!
I hereby claim my prize of a night with a couple of the fabled, young residents of your garage...
Song for the day: Let me talk - Earth, Wind & Fire
Quote of the day: Practically anything you say will seem amusing, if you are on all fours. - PJ O'Rourke
Don't let those builders slack...
Barney
Something you need to get off your chest and sticks in your mouth - dare I say this can only be the missing link being tested by the human fertilisation and embryology authority. Go on, call it Isabella ......
ReplyDeleteImran