Sunday 12th July am
I woke up this morning feeling sad and lethargic. No particular reason why, other than I've been here for four weeks and I hate it. And it's Sunday morning, and I should be out enjoying the sunshine walking the dog. Or preparing Sunday lunch with a glass of something to pass the time. Little mundane things that make life so sweet.
Maybe it's all this one-step-forward-one-step-back stuff, that stops me from seeing a way out of here. We're always one to two weeks away from being discharged, yet it seems to be getting no closer.
These thoughts have got to stop. We're not at home to Mr. Negativity, and strength and determination are the qualities which will result in a quick release.
But it did get me to thinking. What if after all these hospital treatments, and the six weeks of radiotherapy, and the however-long of recovery when I learn to eat, drink and speak again, what if in a couple of years time the doctors say the cancer's returned, and I need to go through the whole thing again. I honestly don't know what my answer would be.
Alright - that's enough of the depressing stuff. Let me tell you what I've got in store the next few days. Well, my dad and brothers are up in London, so they'll come and see me today, along with Catherine and Lucy. Emma can't be there 'cause she's at a pop concert in Spain, but I'll be thinking of her.
Tomorrow is the next - and, I hope, last - in the series of operations to rectify the disobedient pectoral flap. On top of this, I'm getting used to the "talking valve" of my tracheostomy. With all this excitement, what have I got to complain about?
So anyway, sorry to be so downbeat today, I'll be better soon.
Ten songs about being moody:-
1 Sad mood - Sam Cooke
2 Troubles, heartaches and sadness - Ann Peebles
3 Poor, poor pitiful me - Linda Robnstadt
4 My uptight life - Teenage Fanclub
5 Why does my heart feel so bad - Moby
6 Sad and lonesome - Eddie Hinton
7 In the mood - Glen Miller and his orchestra
8 I'm down in the dumps - Bessie Smith
9 Blue and sentimental - Ike Quebec
10 Hot and anxious - Don Redman
Coming up from the depths
RP
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Hi there little brother and 'Best-wife'.
ReplyDeleteIt was so good to see you all at the weekend. I suppose that, by the time you read this, the latest bit of slicing and stitching will be done - I'm thinking of you and wishing the best with all my heart.
With every passing day your release date gets closer - whether or not you know what that date is going to be and as for the future - who knows, it's bound to be a concern, but your 'Best-wife' and beautiful, talented daughters can take your mind off that.
I see Everton managed to scrape another pre-season win - well done you whingeing toffees (ouch! that hurt).
Cathy - don't forget to let me have a copy of Lucy's song (anyone who hasn't heard it yet should pester until they do) and I forgot to leave you the Gallery site address so here it is - www.paintingsilove.com/artist/johnparsons. I'll try to get up to see you again soon.
Lots of love and best wishes,
John.
Hi Rick, have tried posting but fail each time. Saw Sos at the weekend at a 50th who updated me without all the medical details. Am loving your blog. I vote for the flap being called Rolf as the real Rolf has made many comebacks and has many different talents that have all been successful. Am amazed at your recall of songs, My recall seems to stop in the 80's. I have two positive tracks for you:
ReplyDeleteIt's a miracle by Culture Club and
You win again Hot Chocolate
Best Wishes Val [Neal]
So when does the Tracheostomy eventually come out? Is it just after the flap takes?
ReplyDeleteHow did the op go today?
When does the nipple get back in place (I've been struggling like Chandler Bing to find a joke there, but just can't get it yet. I understand it must be quite upsetting and weird, but take a stup back and laugh at how Arnold Rimmer like you must look!
Maybe Cheeks should give you a sharp stick to poke nurses with who don't talk to you, or sing dodgy songs.
Was thinking you should call your flap 'Mr Mannering' (Don't flap (/panic) Mr Mannering!)
Still then maybe someone will sing 'pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile smile'!
Or maybe 'Billy' cos you keep bleating like an old goat lol. Monty python had the right idea! Always look on the bright side - refer in point to the admirable affectionte duttiful etc wife as per last blog.
Have you heard from 'Ben' again sounds like a good bloke, nice touch. Probably a goodie to stay in touch with if possible.
Better than the (semi)lucky man who dad said was out in a week or two full time smoker! Life's not fair but maybe it's just so you appreciate it all the more - think positive dude! (Bill & Ted - love it!)
What is a Spurs fan doing on your page, how rude! :-) still a little support from those who're also much in need of hope...
Dad say's Lucy's voice is phenominal and we're much looking forward to hearing her CD. Should catch aa show at some point too.#
Maybe it's some kinda karma playin with your throat as she soars to new heights!
Wishing you the very best and speediest of recoveries.
Chin up (sorry, lame joke time)
See you soon
Luke
you dont know me but I have been directed to your blog via John! Am wishing the best for you and your new 'flap', really hope it all works out, you sound incerdibly brave to have come so far. Also found out, via John ,you may have gone to school with my dad, Roger (aka The Dodger!) Harrington, it is a small world, though it could just be that Bognor is a small town!
ReplyDeleteAmy
Hi my name is Alejandro Remiro I'm a friend of your brother John Parson, I will recommend you one thing. Try to think in a positive way because you can help doctors to beat it, imagine that this horrible thing is shrinking every day, pray before you sleep it doesnt matter if you dont believe or you dont have any religion but say to yourself I m healed say it again and so on. while imagining yourself healthy as you were before. I can tell you that this formula works because of my girlfriend, she has been doing it, and she had had an excellent outcome.. she managed to stop it..I hope to have a feedback from you soon and my best wishes to you. And remember don't give up.
ReplyDelete